The Art of Good Health- Let's Dance!

May 17th, 2010

I live in Mississippi, a State known for food (world’s best fried catfish- yum!), the blues, writers (Willie Morris anyone?) and the civil rights movement but not often known for its healthy living related efforts.  Ballroom dance is a long time passion of mine and one I have written about on this blog before.  I can’t tell you how excited I was to hear a story that combines both, here in Mississippi!

Students at Bay-Waveland Middle School in Bay St. Louis added ballroom dance to their daily curriculum.  “Moving Toward the Art of Good Health” is 3 year  pilot program encouraging students to become physically active through ballroom dance, while learning about health, wellness and good nutrition. A grant from the Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Mississippi Foundation supported the program.  By the way, Bay St. Louis, MS is a community blasted by Hurricane Katrina and still recovering from its impact. This program was started at the Middle School in wake of Hurricane Katrina. After trauma finding joy, focus and purpose is exquisitely important and healing.

Middle school aged kids dancing with each other and enjoying it. Normal everyday middle school aged kids. I am not so old that I can’t remember the awkwardness of middle school.  Your body is doing odd things, at varying times and probably not at the same times of your friends. Cliques are formed and bringing new friends in to a circle or bridging across them is tough.

You can watch to a wonderful piece about “Moving Toward the Art of Good Health” here. You can see the joy and fun these kids are having dancing the Cha- Cha. In it students and the instructor name a number of benefits from this program. Social benefits include self-discipline, self- confidence, respect for one self and others. One young man, Gus profiled in the story lost 21 pounds over the course of the school year. He describes not only how his eating habits and choices have changes, but also how he has change. Now he’ll reach out beyond his exciting circle of friends and expand his social connections. These are skills for life.

This is not the first school based ballroom dance program in schools, watch Mad Hot Ballroom a wonderful film about a program in New York City, but it is the first I have heard of in Mississippi. This is inspiring! The story and these kids will make you smile.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Cha Cha, Coaching, Community, Creativity, Fitness, Friendship, Mind-Body, Self Efficacy, Values, Wellness | No Comments »

                 

Five Simple Steps to Change- they really do work!

October 14th, 2009

When we last left our dancing heroine she was undertaking part 5 of her Gremlin Taming Plan on the dance floor at the 46th Annual Harvest Moon Championship Ball; in front of God, Jose Dechamps and Joanna Zacharewciz (current undefeated US Rhythm Champions) and everyone else in attendance. To recap: she choose option B) Not. Not to do the same mental steps over and over, letting the jitters best her, but to instead create new choreography to better suit the rhythms of her life and stretch her capacities as a dancer and as a person.

So how did our heroine do? Beautifully. None of her worst fears and Gremlin’s favorite tall tales came true. She did not miss a spiral turn and do a face plant. She did not run from the dance floor, on the verge of tears because she blew the routine. No one said, “What the heck do you think you are doing? Do your REALLY think you belong out there on the floor?”

Did the steps always flow beautifully? No, but that is okay, because they moved across the metaphorical floor of life with a positive energy.  Better yet when she did miss a grapevine or spiral turn, she just kept moving into the next pattern of steps. Each pass on the floor, each heat became easier. Practice makes perfect, right?

Change, lasting change, is about cultivating new habits. Conditioning yourself, to think, act and ultimately live differently than in the past. Change takes time, and practice and sometimes not reaching your mark.  When you don’t reach your mark easily that is an opportunity to try a new tact.  When you do reach you mark that is an opportunity to do it again, again and again until it’s just the way to do “It”- whatever “It” is for you. These new habits become the familiar steps in your life’s choreography. You can always choose to rearrange them or incorporate new ones into your dance.

Was the experience interesting and beneficial? Yes. So, the jitters remained for our heroine but were transformed into positive stress propelling her and her partner across the dance floor. Reinforcing self-efficacy. Igniting the deep sense of gratification of accomplishing a personal goal. When our dancer was awarded high honors for an Argentine Tango routine and told she would be performing the routine as part of Saturday night’s events – events that included rounds of professional competition and performances by Jose Dechamps and Joanna Zacharewciz, she did not pass out cold. She got her game face on eventually, took some very deep breaths, straightened out her big girl panties, headed for the door and danced her heart out in front of a crowd. She was humbled and thrilled to hear people clapping and grateful for the opportunity to take a risk.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Change, Coaching, Courage, Goals, Gremlin, Personal Challenge, Tango | No Comments »

                 

Five simple steps to change: You're the Choreographer for Your Life.

October 9th, 2009

The big girl panties, professional weight tights, performance shoes, rhinestone festooned dresses and an alarming amount of foundational garments are unpacked and spread around the hotel room. This weekend is the 46th Harvest Moon Championship Ball and I am  competing prepared to tame some Gremlins on the dance floor again. I am off to the Ball with my glass slippers and nerves of steel, well almost.

Today, I put on my rhythm dance armour, to Cha-Cha, Swing (East and West Coast), Rumba, Mambo, Bolero and Argentine Tango my way through the nerves I inevitably feel when performing.  Yes, I will most likely always have a strong feeling of jitters about performing, but how I choose to interpret and react to the sensation of the jitters is entirely under my control.  I am giving myself two options… sometimes its best to narrow down the options of ourselves like we do for kids: You can pick which pants you want to wear, the red ones or the purple ones, but you are going to wear pants… to help with making decisions, but I digress.  I can a) let them over run me, or b) not. Now the second option which is the one I am choosing is not as simple as “not” implies. “Not”, option b, is the what, not the how of my Gremlin Taming Plan. My “not” is changing the normal choreography I  would have followed and changing the steps and quality of movement I bring to the experience.

Let’s unpack the how my Gremlin Taming Plan, there are 5 parts.

Part 1:  Acknowledge that what causes me concern – the jitter, nerves, performance anxiety whatever you want to call it- exist.

Part 2:  Examine what story I am telling about them and look for evidence about why my concerns are founded and unfounded. No one likes to make mistakes, and it can be very disconcerting to make them in public, and YIKES! there are current and former professional national champions here, watching , glup… What am I nuts for thinking I can get out on the floor and look as if I belong here… Heavens to mercury what if I catch my heel and do a face plant instead of a spiral turn… blah, blah, blah.

Part 3: Weigh the consequences I get from my story. Well if you focus on what might happen, especially what bad things might happen you’ll never get to see what good things might happen.

Part 4: Retell my story in a new more positive, proactive voice. You have trained. You have practiced. You have some skills and more importantly you LOVE to dance. You like to watch other people dance and they in turn like to watch you to dance and we all want to do well here. The better I am the better they are, so really this is a win-win. And if for some bizarre reason you do a face plant in place of a spiral turn it will become a memorable cocktail story.

Part 5: Live out my new story and see how my energy shifts. I’ll let you know, but I think it will be something along the lines of this. I whirled and twirled, smiled, cha-cha’ed and contributed to a day filled with excitement, joy and encouragement for many people. It was a success and really gratifying and dang it a lot of fun.

There is no magic formula here and many other folks have outlined in their own words and ways how to begin shifting your normal patterns of thinking and doing. I offer the metaphor of choreography for your life and that you as an adult are the primary choreographer for your life. You can choose to do the same steps over and over, or you can choose to rework your movements to better suit the current rhythms and stretch your capacities. Will it always flow beautifully? No, not likely. Will the experience be interesting and beneficial? Yes. So go find your rhythm, listen to the story is offering and tell your best story now as well as you can.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Bolero, Cha Cha, Coaching, Creativity, Gremlin, Mambo, Rumba, Swing, Tango, West Coast | No Comments »

                 

Saturday Night Fever: A Tale of Dreams Coming True

September 29th, 2009

Last Saturday night a group of ordinary people did something exceptional. They put on their dancing shoes, wiped nervous sweat from brows, fluffed out feathers, straighten ties, step on stage and danced as part of the local YMCA’s Dancing for Dreams event, helping to raise more than $19,000. A whopping $4,000 more raised than the previous year’s event and darn close to this year’s goal of $20,000. We may make it yet, as money is still rolling in day by day. Dancing for Dreams is the primary fundraiser for our YMCA and the funds raised helps to provide scholarships for kids and families who otherwise would be unable to take advantage of the health and wellness services provided by our local YMCA.

Seven local stars and 6 people fulfilling the role of “professional partners” carried on a tradition that began three years ago when a couple of local women thought that an event based on the Dancing with the Stars phenomenon might make a good fundraiser. Being formidable, resourceful and persuasive they sold the idea to the YMCA Director. With virtually no budget, but with much dedication they pulled in a number of people, including me, to pull to get the first event, which raised a $5,000, a sum that seemed impossible at the time. So the next year the event grew merging with an auction (live and silent) event already in place for the YMCA. Year two the dancers alone again raise a sizable sum, and now we happily repeated this achievement again. Part of what makes this so amazing is this event occurs in a small Midwestern town (population 9,900), where farming remains a strong way of life and there is limited industry.

It is a privilege to for me to be part of such an effort, three years running now. All of dancers are amateurs with the exception of one young ballroom instructor. This wonderfully motley crew, spends hours learning to dance, learning their choreography, selling tickets to the event, as well as figuring out costumes and having some real fun. It’s gutsy for our local stars in particular, to get out on stage to dance, as the evenings entertainment.  Our stars have included, a high school librarian, attorneys, a retired judge, the county clerk, a physician’s assistant, a program director, a bank president, several business owners, an optometrist, the art center director, a school superintendent and the YMCA’s Executive Director (who by the way has got some good rhythm).  My hat is off to all of our local stars and “pros” who have tackled the Waltz, East Coast Swing, Bolero, Tango, Foxtrot, Jitterbug, West Coast Swing, Rumba, Hustle, Cha-Cha and Samba over the past three years. Most of these folks don’t dance regularly, some may never dance again, and some you could not imagine dancing in the first place, but each of them has said how much they enjoyed the experience. For some it has been a dream to learn how to dance. For some it was just an interesting way to support a good cause. All of them put their best foot forward, took a risk and made magic happen.

It astounds me what can happen when people put steady, solid actions together with dreams and hope.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Bolero, Cha Cha, Courage, Fitness, Foxtrot, Health, Hope, Intentions, Personal Challenge, Rumba, Swing, Tango, Waltz, Well being, West Coast | No Comments »

                 

Disappointing Gremlins and Others, But Not Myself

September 11th, 2009

The past week I have been disappointing people left and right.  Excited for me and curious about the Windy City Open dance competition, family, friends and acquaintances ask, “ How was the competition? Was it fun?” “ No, but I did expect it would be. It was however what I expected and I did what I set out do”, I reply.  Their hopeful faces crumble a bit as the word “No” rides sonic waves from my mouth to their ears. What is most often missed when they first hear my response is that for me, the competition was what I needed and successful, because I achieved my goals, which had nothing to do with having a fun with all the classic trappings of smiles and laughter.

One goal was get out on the dance floor, looking as if I belonged there in my division by age and dance level. More importantly my other goal was to contend with a full-scale assault launched by my Gremlins. Both were accomplished, but not without deliberate, focused action. Was it easy? No. Was it worth it?  Absolutely. Would I do it again? Yes, look out 46th Harvest Moon Ball Championship here I come. And you know what? The next competition will be easier and much more fun.

Performing, being the center of attention has never been enjoyable for me. My nature is to be introverted, despite finding people and their company immensely fascinating and enjoyable.  Some people thrive on getting up in front of a crowd and speaking, dancing, acting, playing football… I don’t. However, personal excellence is a value of mine and it drives me to get the most from and put forward the best foot I can in the moment. To push past the whisperings of anxieties fed by Gremlins, because the short-term pain of growth is a price worth paying for the long-term gains of personal agency and the profound contentment of knowing you honestly put your whole effort in to something.

Practice makes perfect so goes the adage and there is truth in it. Last weekend was one long practice session. Each difficult moment was countered with twice as many easier moments. There were multiple rewards of being in action:

  • The messages of support from my husband sent each day.
  • The fellowship of many dancers, some more skilled, some less skilled, but all dancing for the joy of doing something loved.
  • The joy of cheering for someone dancing his heart out.
  • The pleasure of spending time with beloved companions.
  • The kindness of a fellow competitor helping me to rub out the cramps seizing both sets of calf muscles of my first round of heats.
  • I am proud to say there were some heats where I placed.

The most meaningful reward was feeling an uncontrollable smile as I danced my final 6 heats, growing from just doing something loved and shared. On Oct. 9 and 10, it is that memory and generative power in it that will make the next competition fun.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Coaching, Goals, Gremlin, Personal Challenge, Values | 2 Comments »

                 

Making Vows: Honoring Intentions, Actions and Your Team

September 1st, 2009

Intentionally declaring your intentions, your plans, and the actions you will to take to meet your goals is an extraordinary behavior with great kinetic potential.  Saying something aloud does not equate with undertaking the action you declare, but it does help to forward your action to a given end. You still need to take the action.

Thoughtfully stating your intentions out loud is akin making a vow.  Much like when giving voice to a sacred ceremonial vow, such as a marriage vow or a pledging one’s fidelity to another, there an assumption of accountability to the other person(s) to whom you make a pledge as well as to the witnesses of this act.  When you declare your intentions to others, in a large or small venue, to a small or large group, or even a single individual, you invite them into your experience and to support your endeavors.  We do this even causally when saying, “I think I will go to the movies this Saturday” to a colleague. The next time you see each other your colleague is likely to ask, “So how was the movie on Saturday? What did you go see?” They too are invested in your efforts.

People are social creatures. By in large we want those around us to do well, so we too can share in their successes and celebrations, be they for grand or small accomplishments. Celebrating the small wins like getting through a week with only 4 negative thoughts about dresses ripping on the dance floor, or 5 strategically and individual crafted emails to your professional network exploring opportunities are as important to acknowledge as celebrating completing all of your heats or landing a new job. It is the small successes that line your path to the bigger goal and the supporters we engage along the way are like a fans and teammate cheering on their riders in the Tour de France. It takes the combination of your intentions and efforts, and your support team to cross your personal finish line.

When undertaking a big challenge, wouldn’t it be great to feel steady support from a variety of people from the different aspects of your life? In the dark moments when you just want to stop, there is a ground swell of support for you to ride back into the light moments. There is an additional flow to energy to feed your efforts. There is a somebody or some bodies at the proverbial finish line encouraging and drawing you ever closer to it.

Having someone on your team, who can and will consistently tell you what you need to hear when you need to hear it, is critical for you get to the next portion of your path.  This has to happen when the message is overtly and easily positive and even more importantly when the message may be difficult to deliver and hear. We all need at least one person in our lives to provide a reality check, to push us firmly but gentle forward when it is time to in motion. Delivering the difficult messages may be too difficult for a family member, loved one, friend or colleague to tell you when you need it most. If there is someone already in your life you serves this most important role in your life that is great.  Celebrate that gift in your life and thank that person for their unwavering support.

If not, go find someone who can fulfill that role in your life and thank them along the path you travel. This could be a mentor at work, a rabbi, Imam, pastor, or a Coach. A coach can be a wonderful addition to your team of supporters, their focus is to keep your big picture in mind, when you don’t, can’t or won’t. Your Coach is focused on you and your goals for creating a personally satisfying and better life. They are always in your corner and can help you rally the rest of your support team. Frankly you are not paying them to bull****you, the stakes are too high- this is your life.

As I look at the calendar and see that in less than 4 days I’ll be limbering up wearing a rhinestone dress and putting on my game face, I want to think my support team. My husband, my mom, dad, stepmom, my sister and brother, in-laws, nephews and a wealth of cousins. My dance family. My friends. My colleagues at the conference last week. My dance instructor and coach. My Coach/Mentor and my coaching colleagues. On Friday and Saturday, when I dance at the Windy City Open, I know you will all be with me literally or figuratively, cheering me on. It is to each and everyone of you I dedicate my dances. Without you I wouldn’t have come this close to my personal finish line and because of you I know I will cross it, ripped dresses, bruised toes, or not.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Coaching, Connection, Gratitude, Intentions, Personal Challenge, Support, Team, Tour de France | No Comments »

                 

Values, Creativity and Finding a Path of Balance

August 28th, 2009

Recently The Daily Reviewer honored me with a best of the web, Top 100 Ballroom Dancing Blog. Ted from The Daily Reviewer delivered the notice of award to me via my Values of Dancing post. Which got me thinking, this blog is an extension of my personal coaching practice, so why again I am blogging about my experience in preparing for my own big challenge, a ballroom dance competition? This blog is fundamentally about the processes, experience of and benefits that come from purposeful engagement in strategic action in order to stretch beyond our own expectations. To take risks, be adventurous, and act with courage to face what frightens us. In doing so we uncover the wisdom in and around us, and reach out to people and resources that enable us to be  in motion and grow. Coaching provides a structure and environment for to you create or refine your life to work in harmony with your values, passions and purpose.

Values clarification and living out one’s most precious values comprises much of the foundational work I do with my clients. Creativity, dance, and ballroom dance are often the metaphors I use with my clients because I can speak from a perspective of experience.  There is power in speaking from experience, just as expanding the perimeters and scope of experience in life increases its potency.  This power streams through the voices of my clients as we explore what brought them to coaching, and their innate gifts and past experiences from which they draw throughout the coaching process.

Many of my clients are facing a transition in their lives, personally, professionally or both. Many are considering, in this current economic and emotional climate, what is most important in order that their lives are filled with elements of meaningful work to which they are well suited, time to spend with family and friends that is regular and nonharried, and experiences (hobbies, courses, spiritual paths, travel etc.) that push the boundaries of their personal growth. Very often it is the desire to pursue an experiential route to expand their personal growth that also opens up their array of possibilities for the other elements in their lives to be “better” and balanced.

Sometimes these experiences come as an unexpected windfall opportunity (Congratulations you just won an all expenses paid trip to…), but those are rare. We can each push the boundaries of our lives and the experiences, which knit the texture of our lives, if we are crystal clear about what is most important, most sacred to us, and use those markers to guide us along our individual paths to our desired outcomes. When you know what you feel as well as what you think, and are honest about both, you open yourself to possibility and the ability to follow your passion in an intuitive, natural way. You create a life that is personally successful, satisfying and rejuvenating.

Lucy, one of my clients, holds creativity, integrity and compassion as primary values. For many years she felt stifled by work, at mid-sized State University, it became all consuming and while she had great love for academia, she was increasing feeling resentful towards her colleagues, her students and her University. Everyday was a stress filled experience of too many papers to read, too many students to mentor and too many irritating colleagues and not enough time and energy left over to pursue her areas of research and enjoy her marriage and friendships and other interests.

During the time we worked together Lucy clarified her most sacred, primary values and how she would take action to ensure those were reflected in her life, all areas of it, professionally and personally.  As she undertook purposeful, strategic action to live out her values she first moved to a place of compassion for herself, stopping a cycle of beating herself up for not being “the perfect academic who lives only to work”, then unrestricted compassion to other while rediscovering her interest in fiber arts, leading to a passion for knitting and into a community of knitters.

Knitting can be a meditative process, a place of centering. As Lucy knit scarves, shawls, socks and hats for her husband, self, friends and family, each stitch made with love and respect for the intended recipient she found her resentment towards work melting away. In its place a rejuvenation of her heart and mind was taking root. She rediscovered her passion for why she became an academic and 1.5 years later approaches the challenges of work with an compassionate mind and heart, she speaks her mind calmly but firmly when addressing a contentious issue and is better able to see her colleagues and students as people like, her trying to create lives that are meaningful. She continues to knit, expanding her circle of companions, calming her nerves when frayed and sharing her talents and gifts with all those who touch her life.

Why did coaching work for Lucky or any one for that matter?  It works because we use a solutions based approach that focuses on where you are now and where you want to be in your life.  We work as a team, to make smart decisions that support your personally successful life.  Coaching involves two critical components: 1) reflection, an opportunity to think about and clarify one’s visions, values, goals and hurdles; and 2) action, a commitment to take self defined steps to move towards one’s goals. Coaching actively supports the behavior changes needed in individual to create, reinforce and sustain their “new normal”.

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Coaching, Community, Creativity, Dance, Fellowship, Knitting, Personal investment, Stress Management, Work life | No Comments »

                 

Fellowship, Adversity and Taming Gremlins on the Dance Floor

August 24th, 2009

The fellowship experienced in dance is a thing of beauty and of strength.  In my Values of Dancing post I noted Community/Fellowship as a value reflected in ballroom dancing. When you dance you have something in common with others, a shared experience, even if in only one area of life. You are connected and contribute to that shared bond of belonging to a community. People in a community celebrate together and pull together in times of need.

Last Sunday’s 10th Windy City Dancesport Showcase also reflected the French Proverb “Adversity is the touchstone of friendship.“ Adversity at its core is something that is unfavorable, causes trouble or misfortune.  Our own perceptions and “story” about ourselves can be a cunning and therefore worthy adversary. The fellowship inherent in friendship reinforces our innate abilities and strength to best our most worthy adversaries- the dreaded Gremlins. Those self-saboteurs, that whisper, shout and repeat negative stories about you and me. Gremlins manifest from our insecurities and self doubts. Slanderous ratfinks that can just mess with your mind and focus.

Several days after the Showcase I was reflecting on my own jitters and joys related to the event with several other women I know who dance, despite serious jitters of their own.  Sunny’s remarks are a perfect reflection of what the stories our Gremlins tell can do and what we can do to counter those tall tales. “My insecurity is destructive but I do surround myself with quality people. Regardless of my performance, Sunday was an interesting experience and enjoyable.”

The jitters I am sure she was feeling inside did not show in her performance. Sunny, I, and many others, are hypercritical of our dancing when the amygdala takes over. All the “What if you fall and make a fool of yourself? Don’t make a spectacle of yourself. You’re not good at this… blah, blah, blah” stories that are spoken by Gremlins are like a warped oral history.  And when the fear center of the brain shoots into overdrive- Whammy! jitters galore and out goes the our ability to see things for what they are really.  Damn primal brain! I am pretty good judge of dancing and I can tell you Sunny performed much better she might have felt she did- I know the same was true for me because my friends told me to get over myself I did just fine.  What excellent friends I have who looked at me saw the Gremlin peeking out and put it firmly and in no uncertain terms back in check- just what I needed.

Looking deep into the mirror of our friends and seeing what is in others is also reflected in us is a gift – it is not always pretty to see those reflections but it is interesting, illustrative and instructive. I hope Sunny continues to dance and knows that the fellowship she shares with other dancers can be a touchstone for her too. We all draw from the wellspring of support in friendships to courageously face our adversaries and big challenges.

So I am reminding myself  ”don’t-let-your-amygdala-over rule-your-abilities-and-sharing-these-with-others-that-is-not-the-path-to-true-happiness” when my Gremlin peeks out. I am now in a place where I figure if I could get past my paralyzing fear of public speaking and I can with performing. Thank you Sunny and all my excellent honest and sincere friends.

Now go tame your Gremlin and tell us your story of  how adversity is the touchstone of friendship.

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Posted in Adversity, Ballroom Dance, Community, Connection, Courage, Creativity, Dance, Fellowship, Friendship, Honesty, Insecurities, Support | No Comments »

                 

Everything hurts: Do I have to keep doing this?

August 18th, 2009

My body hurts from practicing my dance  routine, steps and specific techniques (dang delayed hip action).  One big toe is black and blue courtesy of a nasty landing I took from a jump with a less then stellar landing (Note to self, remember to keep your heels parallel and glued together in mind air and when landing).  My back and legs are sore from moving a lot. And top it all off I have managed to aggravate an old knee injury and stress a wrist enough for some of the muscle is tearing away from the bone. I can’t even conceive of how I managed to do that… All on the left side of my body- I am feeling lopsided.

My brain hurts from introducing 10, not 9 like I was counting before, but ten new pieces of choreography in the past few weeks and all of the dang Rhinestones. I don’t care if I ever see an other rhinestone in my life. Some days one routine blends into an other. Sometimes I can’t seem to coordinate the signals from my brain with what my muscles are doing.

Somebody please remind me why I am doing this? My back hurts, my foot hurts, I keep mixing up my routine. Really why I am I doing this, aside from keeping the manufactures’ of rhinestones, and my chiropractor in business? Which, incidentally, I like to think of this as the Danahar Stimulus package. This was the self-indulgent conversation I had with a coaching colleague the other day. Wisely my colleague turned my own question back to me. Deirdre, Why are you doing this?

There comes a time when you hurt from growth. As a child and adolescent we all literally had growing pains. Well growth as an adult is no different. Change is uncomfortable. It takes time for new ideas to root themselves in our brains, for muscles memory to be created, for the bumps and kinks to be smoothed out.

There comes a point when the idea of quitting is very seductive. And stopping can always be a choice.  Sometimes is the best choice, because there is a  significant danger ahead, or a great permanent negative consequence looming if you keep on a path. But more often than not, when you are pursuing a goal that is rooted in your values and is pushing for growth, the best choice is to allow for the growing pains.

So I rested more this past week than I might have otherwise. I became well acquainted with my ice packs again and offered up a prayer of thanks for the inventor of the heating pad. And I remembered that I am capable, and if I mix up a routine, a) I have a partner who can help get us back on course and b) it is not the end of the world nor is it an absolute reflection of whom I am. Sunday I had to remind myself of this during and after an exhibition in Chicagoland.

Allow for the growing pains in your own big challenge. Keep moving through them.  If it is too much, take a break and try again. Reach out to others for a dose of reality and support. Remember, you have a choice, to do or not and there are consequences for both choices . Which choice will you make to lead you down a path of few regrets?

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Posted in Ballroom Dance, Coaching, Courage, Creativity, Dance, Learning, Partnership, Values | No Comments »

                 

Zen of Rhinestone Application, part 3

August 17th, 2009

Two of my three dresses that need to be made competition ready are now stoned. The last one is now in progress and I expect it alone will have a total of 1200 – 1300  stones on it when complete. My dresses are not intended for resale, so it is not critical that stoning is perfect. Still I want them to look handcrafted not handmade. They are an outward reflection of me, an expression of my personal style, my personality and values.  And I want them to reflect well on the gift of my friend who has shared her talent for sewing with me.

When it boils down to the heart of why I am doing all of this is a discovery and rediscovery process of the tools at my disposal, the abilities others and I have and that they are enough to be part of something bigger and beautiful. I am under no illusion that ballroom dance will solve the big issues in the world, such as hunger and peace for fractured countries. But I am sure that it is an art form that brings together a dazzling cross section of people from various backgrounds who in their best moments share their passions, offer their talents as gifts to be shared, cheer on their compatriots to bring their best to dance and inspire the same in their partner.

You cannot hide in dance, any form of dance, ballroom or otherwise, and fully participate. You must connect with others, the musicians creating the sounds that inspire movement, the others on the floor, stage or in the audience and most certainly with your partner.  People react to your presence and presentation when you dance, from the way you articulate the music through your body, to the swish of fabric caught in the air currents born in a spin, and the flash of rhinestones and emotions.  You are responsible for what they see when you pass by.  The more authentic you are in your presentation the more you fully engage others and in the entire experience and the greater benefits for you and others.

Each rhinestone applied, each sequence of dance steps practiced, each hours spent finding my own styling is an expression of commitment to fully honor and realize the beauty of doing something well.  I see those same things expressed in other people who are also preparing for a competition or their own personal big challenges. There is fellowship in this community of dancers. I am not on this journey alone, even when I am alone placing rhinestone, after rhinestone.

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Posted in Authenticity, Ballroom Dance, Community, Connection, Creativity, Dance, Fellowship, Mindfulness, Rhinestones, Values | No Comments »

                 
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